u think i'm ur toy uh?! such girl lyk u i really dunno wad to say... u break wit me & go wit other guy ... they fuck u alre nw u cum back to me & say sorry tell me tat u're wrong , i nvr say u rite wad .. joke wit my love then fuck off ... i dun have such a gf lyk u ... last time u use to care for me but everything had change u understand?!?! chance i can give u is only 1... if u dunno how to keep chance ppl give u then go home study how to keep chance ppl give u ... ur mother can give u lot of chances not ppl in ur live... haiz!!! y shld i write bout a b!tch in my blog ..

to my baby girl

my lovely baby girl , this few day i miss you a lot . i miss your care very much so i should ask you out soon :D . i also miss to hear you say "honey , i love you ." only few day never meet i love and miss you a lots . i want to love you forever and hoping the time will stop now to let me stay beside you until end of my life . no matter what i will love you . i will hold you tight even if this world gonna falling down . i promised my love and my heart only for you . no other girl in my heart except you . i will not broke my promised no matter what , okie ? baby , i am not gonna hurt you . please tell me if i do , okie ? i will change for you . you are my perfect princess . you are my no. 1 . i want to love you forever . you used to say the sky is blue and beautiful like our love .

i was thinking of that day . it really cold you was sleeping in my hand let me have a chance to hold you tight . you kiss me when you wake up make me feel warm . whenever your lip touched my i wish time will stop because i doesn't want to let your lip leave mine . you are my true happiness . this few weeks you give me a lots of of memmories . every minute every second staying beside you , i feel that true love is all around me . the warm kiss that you giving me forever remain in my mind and on my lip . i believe that you won't break any promised that you have promised me , am i right ? i will never forget you in my life . now , you are my wife . in the future , you are my wife and forever are my wife , am i right ? baby , i want you to know that i really love you . please believe that there are no other girl in my heart except you .

S[he] Be[lie]ve

i really want to know do you still love me ? i miss you a lots . every night i'm holding the book that you gave me . my eyes always filled with tears . i know a gangster girl like me will never ever fit to love you or love anyone in this world . i have given everything that i have to you but i change back nothing . you have change , you don't truly love me before , just as how i espect . staying a life that no one cares for me , everyday drunk , everyday get scoled , everyday crying , everyday missing you and everyday i stayed in a life that filled with guilty . because of you i does not dare hanging around with guys . all guys are the same in the world . all of them are coming after look and beauty . all thanks to you that you have changed a girl into an idiot tomboy . i'm giving up on guys . all of them are hopeless . every promised that guys make will never ever be kept . why should you guys promised ? when you guys knew that you guys gonna broke it ? i'm always the stupid one to believe in you but now never . my girlfriend now is much better than you guys . all nightmare can be heal in time . i have learn to forget the past and walk toward the future .

he doesnt understand me..

haiz,i now staying with my daddy.. i really feel very happy but i've another feeling that i dun dare to tell him.. i dun wan him to be sad bcoz of me.. whenever he & my step-mother laughing and smilling at one another, i feel really very extra in the family.. but i could not understand why i cant treat her as my "mother".. she really treat me very good but i treat that she just trying to get close to me and take away my mom position in my dad heart.. until now i still could not accept the fact that she is my step-mother.. whenever i step into my dad room i saw their pic hanging on the wall that make me drop tears.. but i still smiling just to make my dad happy.. i hate that every where i go i saw her pic.. in my dad room, in my dad hp & also in my dad laptop.. i gonna gone crazy very soon.. he give me everything that i wan but all that have no meaning without his love.. she broke my dream.. dad, u broke my heart..

feeling really very lonely without u..
wishing u will stay by my side forever..
if i know this day will come i'll treasure
every moment that i spent with u.. time spent
with u really very short but mostly i take a fight
with u and did not leave u any sweet memmories.. but
the act that i really love u alots.. i really dun wish to
see this.. i wanna go back school.. because i wan to see u..
u're my wonderful world.. please dun ever leave me.. please!!!
i really feel very lost now.. wishing to u see every second, hope
u have not forget me.. there is nothing more important than ur love
in my life.. every night i cry because of u.. i keep on thinking of u
non-stop.. dun u get tired of running around my mind?!?! tired of missing u

hey!!

hey guys,
i reach Vietnam alre..
miss u guys alots..
i really hope to see ya guys again..
i really miss 1N2, i even more miss 6Diligence..
i hate this feeling sia..
i still dun understand what is going on sia..
what the fu** is this??
can anyone tell me the reason why?
i totally lost..
really dun wish to go on like this anymore..
life is fu*king irritating las in vietnam..
drinking & smoking, i hate this sia..
I really hope to seeya guys again next mth..

giving up

i know you can't take it anymore. since so, then it's time to end this relationship. i was just testing how much you love me and understand me. but then i really realised that you totally don't understand me. i think it was totally wrong to request too much from you. am i really requested too much from you?! never mind i think it's time to let you go. i wish i can keep you by my side forever. but it obvious enough that i cant. because it really very clear of what you write on MSN. it's really the first time
you hurt me, and this hurt is really very deep. how to heal the pain in my heart, can you please tell me?! i really wanna know how. first time ever you scold bad word at me. and also thanks to you that you're the first guy ever scold bad word at me. you gonna be the last guy i'm gonna love. i really very stupid for not treasuring you. i gonna let go. my love to you is from bottom of my heart. i really don't care what people comment about you, all the matter is i love you. now, i love you. in the future, i still love you & forever love only you. from now on i think i really don't dare to love anymore guy. i really wish i am a les. i think i gonna turn back to a les life bah. then i wont get so much suffer.

♥♥♥

I wanna thank you for everything that you had done for me. Thanks alot, I really enjoy every single momment I spent with you. I also wanna say sorry to you. My attitude had torture you for this few months. But I'm not going to change it for you, because that is the nature me, my attitude is what had make me special. Really sorry, this past few months I have been really very selfish, I only think of myself and never ever think of your feeling before. Whatever I do, I only think of myself but I have never ever thought of your feeling. I always feel that you hurting me everytime but i was wrong. I'm then the one who hurt you everytime. I've hurt you enough. From now on, whatever I do or say I will think of your feeling, okay?! I promised, okay baby. You're the first one I'm thinking of after I wake up, you also the last one I thinking of before I sleep. I just love you for who you are. So now, let turn back to the beginning when we first met each other, when we fall in love with each other. Let recall back all the sweet memmories. Every time you hold my hand, you hug me tightly in your arms and you gently kiss my lip. It really very sweet, right?! (:

Three words from bottom of my heart that " I LOVE YOU " ♥♥♥

I did not cry

How many night must I have to count, how many torturing I must go through?! Then you can truly understand me. But I have never ever give up on you & I did not cry, it look like I was crying, I am not it just some dust go into my eyes. I am waiting for you, waiting for you footstep. I am running a way from you because I totally don't know how to face you.

How many sentences must I pray, how many pain god want to torture me?! Then we can be together again. I noe miss you a lot, it's only the 1st day we break up, but it like killing me inside. It's not your fault, but it's my fault. it's my fault that I don't know how to hold you tight & let you slip out of my hand. Waving good bye to you, because I must lead my life without you.

Silently looking at your footstep, and walk past you without saying a word but tears start to rolling down my eyes. I did not cry. There really dust inside my eyes that make my tears keep on roll down. But since I decide to let you go, i hope you to be happy no matter what, please promised me to stay happy my baby.

Please remember that, no matter where you go. At the end of this world there is somebody waiting for you. Forever waiting for you down here, because she really love you a lot.

Love ya baby!!!

If the word "IF" doesn't exist...

By all the lonely time I've spent by myself, by all the painful heartbeat, when you leave me without a word. Why must you leave so many painful memmories in my life. Did you remember anything?! When I'm sad, your heart & soul does not happy either. Remember when you hug me & said: I can't go on without you & I can't live without you. Those words had mixed with the rain & had already vanished into the air. I want to forget those momment but I still think of it. Do you know my heart has already broken? Those memmories will follow the rain & dissapear.

If I've not meet you, i think my life is difference now. I won't be so heartbroken, i won't be so sad & crying every night. Just because I was naive & take your words so seriously, then my life won't be so tough. If you don't bring any suffer to me, my life would be difference now. I would be a happy girl & I'll love you a lots also. If there's trust in love, there is no point of continue to be together. If you really love me, love me for who I am not for who you want me to be. If we really mean to be together, let time prove to us. If the word "IF" does not exist, I think no one will be so pianful & sad.

Story of a girl who missing a guy every night. Story of a girl who crying for a guy every night. Thinking of those memmories that they had shared. And now left her alone in the dark, lonely night by herself. Scared to love you again because i scared to get hurt again. The pain you had given me forever will still remain. If I doesn't meet you & if I doesn't love you, i won't be suffer.

Mothers' day

Haiz, today is Mothers' Day, feel so boring sia..
I miss my mother a lots lor, hope she can come
back for few days... Long time never see her le..
Wonder how her life is going on.. Hope everything
will go well for her.. I think most of you very
eager to celebrate Mothers' Day with your mother,
I also wanted to celebrate this special day belong
to every single Mother in this world.. But she is
not here with me to celebrate this special day, so
another year I've to celebrate Mothers' Day by
myself... So sad sia, :(

Mommy! HaPpY m0tHeRs' DaY, all the best in every
things you do. m0mMy, I ♥ YOU!!! My best mommy
ever. The mommy that all years been taking care for
me. You have being my mother, the best mother ever,
you also have been my father when he is not around,
to protect me and always make sure that i live safe
everyday. You also have been my friend whenever i
feeling lonely, and even share your sadness and your
happiness with me everyday.

YoU aRe ThE bEsT m0mMy EvEr

another sleepless nite, thinking of u...
miss u a lot, more than i expected... i
really miss ur voice, ur laughter & ur
smile... i really wanna call u but i dun
wanna disturb u anymore... NVR EVER AGAIN
i'll try my best nt to call u again anymore
i really hate myself for loving u too deep
u evertime wanna hang up my call & nvr ans
my call... u let me spent the scary nite by
myself, the nite tat is so dark, long & it
is filled with lonely tears... i really feel
lyk i'm juz a fren tat u seem lyk dun care
or maybe worst tat i'm nth in ur heart...
i swear to myself tat i wun cry for any more
guy but i couldn't control... when then u
wake up & realised how much i've been love
you tis few mths? i think when u realised it,
it's really time for me to leave u... i cant
take anymore suffer... i was still awake & was
thinking of u while u were in ur dreamland...
u let me suffer in thee dark & lonely nite by
myself... tat's how u show ur love to me?!

If I got a chance to go back in time to change
one thing you know what I would change? Nothing
cause it's the mistakes and pain of my past that
could make me a stronger person.

I'm trying not to call u again...
I'm not going to disturb ur life
anymore... I think I shld let u
go 1 day, n the day is cuming...
I dun wanna live in a life which
fill with tears anymore... I'm
not going to waste my tears on u
again... NVR EVER AGAIN... But no
matter wad I still love you, love
you alot... I really vr scare to
call u again, coz I really hate
it vr much whenever u say goodbye.
I really miss ur voice, wanna hear
ur laughter n see ur smile... all
tat make up my day... Even when I'm
tired, ur smile, ur laughter n ur
voice help me to gain back my energy
do u noe tat?! I love u frm bottom
of my heart but tis is wad u've given
me?! Every night I'm crying to myself
coz missing u, cannot slp every day
juz coz busy thinking of u... seriously
i really really cant take it anymore...
I'll give u bk ur freedoom soon..
You'll forever stay in my heart..
3 words from bottom of my heart
" I L O V E Y O U "

whenever i feel lonely, wanna tok to u...
call u but u seems to b so busy revising
so nt feel lyk disturb u... whenever i in
bad mood nt feel lyk toking to any1, then
u started to call me... wad the point?!
u noe wad "I HATE TO BE ALONE!!! HATE TO
BE IGNORE" hate lots....

i had enough of everythings...
can i juz shut my eyes n stop
viewing things around me?! i
such a failure... i nt gd in my
study, i dunno how to protect
my fren & family, i oso dunno
how to be a good gf... i really
gd for nth... have no talent at
all... y shold i continue to b
in tis world?!the world shld nt
fill any body so useless lyk me...
i nt worth ur love AT ALL... i
only noe how to throw my temper at
u n nvr listen to wad u wanna tell
me... really sorry baby, i really
not worth ur love sia... i wish
time could turn back, turn back to
the time i haven accept u then u
wun be in tis state anymore... i'm
the one always cause so many trouble
for you... LOVE YA ♥

last nite, i couldnt slp as i really
scare i'll have a nitemare... i did
nt dare to close my eyes n scare tat
the nitemare one more time appear in
my dream... i cried lots n fall in a
deep slp after tat... n i had a dream
n its bout u n me.... in the dream, u
hold my hand tightly in urs n lyk did
nt wanna let it go, we walk for a very
long distance under a heavy rain... a
sweet kiss frm u to my cheek tat warm
my heart... slowly ur lip touched my
lip, a sweet kiss under a heavy rain
tat make me didnt wan to wake up...

haiz... it another day has pass...
wonder shld i tell him or not as i
am the 1 who say no secret between
us, i felt so bad... i got smth to
tell him but when i face him i juz
couldnt say it out... actually it's
my fault for not telling him the
shameful act tat i've done... i
couldnt hide it frm him anym more..
i really scare when he noe the true
he will look down on me n doesnt
love me as he use to be... i really
scare n confuse at the same time...

3 things

~ 3 things in your life, once past you'll nv able to find it back
= It's + Time + Things that come out from your mouth + Chance


~ 3 things that cannot be lost in your life
= It's + Freedoom + Hope + Faithful


~ 3 things that's important in your life
= It's + Love + Self-confident + Friendship


~ 3 things that'll never stay by your side
= It's + Dream + Money + Succeed


~ 3 things that built a value of a person
= It's + Hard working + Loyal + Helpful


~ 3 things that can ruin a person life
= It's + Beer + Self-important mind + Furious habit

writing to say sry to my mei (younger sis)

mei, jie really sry... mayb u think tat
i doesnt lup u anymore but speaking the
truth i really still lup n care for u
lyk last time... i'm sry for slaping u
too hard today. i tink u shld hate me
lots in ur ife coz i beat n scold u
every single day for all ur mistake tat
u had done or make... but u doesnt noe
tat i was oso feel hurt deep in my heart...
i really dun bear to slap u but i really
dun wan u to follow my step... u r still so
young shld'nt act lyk gangster... i dun wish
to see u regreting lyk me nw... pls dun hate
me no matter wad... wadeva i do juz for ur
owns gd..

in life there'll be no 2nd chance for u...
there is only one chance n if u mis the
chance then too bad... juz lyk a family tat
is broken, no mater how hard u try to fix
it, it will nv eva complete... no mater how
much u have change in urself, in other eyes
u still the same... juz lyk me, i didn't
fight n trying my best to be frenly, kind,
polite n respect but in other eyes i still
a gangster... foreva a gangster... i always
tell myself to give other chances but no 1
wanna give me any chance when i need it :(
so unfair

i feel vr tired nw... very very tired...
seriouly, feel lyk giving up nw, give up
everyting... i nw feel lyk juz closing my
eyes n stop thinking, close my eyes to
stop viewing things around me... every
single nite i could nt slp... miss some1
a lots, a lots... wheneva i close my eyes
i'll start to think of u tat make me cannot
slp... i love u a lots, n nv eva wanna let
u go, as long as i can b wit u, i dun even
wan to care bout wad happen around me even
if the sky is gonna falling down... i'll
feel safe wheneva u hug me tightly in ur
arms, pls hold me tight n closer to u...
pls dun let go, dun let me slip through ur
arms... dear, i really need u in my life..
tis life gonna have no meaning without u...
u make an emo, lonely little girl lyk me noe
wad is happiness, wad is tears fill wit joys
n make me feel lyk im nt lonely... really thx
lots of wad u have done for me... but its me
the 1 who didnt appreciate it, i always throw
my temper at u... baby, im sry... i'll
treasure every min, every sec i spent wit u..
love u with all my heart n soul...

it a lonely nite n the nite seem to be so long to me... i feel lyk slping but i dun seem i can... i close my eyes i saw u appear in my mind... whenever i close my eyes i started to think of u... whenever i need someone to tok to, who really willing to b there for me?!?! coz i dun seem anyone being there for me... my life now is getting more n more lonely... u seem to b further n further away frm me... i really vr scared 1 day when i woke up i realise my life is without u... whenever i close my eyes i saw u say gd bye to me making me cant close my eyes... everyday my tear keep rolling down non-stop the feeling in me tat i'm going to lose u forever... i dun wan to express all tis feeling to u coz all u noe is tell me stop imagine things... u dun really understand me... u dun really noe wad i wan... all i wan is u to hold me tightly in ur arms... as long as i stay in ur arms i always feel safe... i wan to b in ur arms every min every sec... i think u nw slping n dunno tat i suffering through the lonely nite without u, eyes filled full of tears...

wad i mean?

whenever i say:

"Please leave me alone" mean i wan u to be there for me
n hug me very tight in ur arms n nv let me go no matter wad...

"I never wan to see u again" but in my heart i missed u badly

"Stop following me" mean i wan u to follow me n stay by my side

"Stop telling everyone tat i'm ur girlfren" mean
start telling them i'm ur wife...




i cnt breathe coz u take away my breath...
i'm going to call the police to arrest u
for stealling my heart...

I LOVE YOU !!!i>

......

dear,
i miss u lots... i've been thinking of you
every minute n every second... u always in
my heart... my love to u is really from
bottom of my heart... i really cant get u
out frm my mind... u r everyting to me baby
all i wan is ur love, ur smile n ur care...
i really dun hate u at all no matter wad...
even if i angry with u jus a word " sry baby"
or when u hold me tight in ur hand n didn't
let me go, i dun seem to be angry with u
anymore... i noe u always being there for me
but i still miss u n thinking of u wherever i
go... pls promised me tat u will forever be
mine n will never ever leave me... i really
need u in my life...

There's is always :)

There is always

> a little truth behind every
" Just kidding "

> a little knowledge behind every
" I don't know "

> a little emotion behind every
" I don't care "

> a little pain behind every
" It's ok "

so many things has happened....
seriously i really dunno how to
face it.... day getting more n
even more tiring... haiz!!! feel
lyk dieing soon... HELP!!!!!! i
really need help... cant stand it
anymore... wanna cry out loud....
i wan to shout out loud tat " I
HATE THE WORLD N I LOVE U BABY"
i dun wanna live in a life filled
wit pain, torturing, sadness n tear
ENOUGH of tat... I REALLY HAVE ENOUGH
OF TAT... i cant take it anymore...
i feel like giving up alre... give up
everything but i'm not gonna give up
on u...

to my darling

darling i have try my very best
to make u happy... i alre force
myself to do things tat i dun
lyk juz to make u happy... u
think tat i doesn't love u
enough.. make me feel so sad n
feel lyk u doesn't trust me at
all.. tis is the 1st time u
make me cry my dear... pls dun
make me cry anymore.. dun add in
anymore sadness n trouble for me
I REALLY DO LOVE YOU!!!!

how i could wish i nv
born into tis life...
y must god done tis to
me.. wad wrong did i
has done in the past
life?! haiz... i think
nw it time 2 let go...
let 2 of us have our
creative thinking n let
have some reflection
bout our relationship..
mayb u r nt d 1 in d
wrong.. mayb im d 1 in
d wrong.. it all my fault
but i noe time will prove
tat we really nt mean 2
b 2gether... i nt fit 2
b wif u.. must say tat i
nt fit 2 b wif any1 in
tis world.. im d most
useless person in d world
i nw vr vr confused of
wad to do.. seriously,
i nt bear to let u go
but there nth i could do..
i always smile n i always
laugh but do any1 noe tat
deep in my eyes tears is
gonna rolling down n deep
in my heart it really vr
painful as it bleeding
every single day... y must
i cum 2 tis world?!?!?!?!?!
y must i hav to stand tis
kind of torturing?!?!?!?!
enough mean enough.. i wan
nth except 4 peace.. i nid
some silent...

tired...

feel vr vr tired...
i wanna gif up but
there is lots of ppl
around me nid my help
so i alrd tried my
best to haong on but
seriously i wanna gone
mad soon.. i cant hang
on anymore.. so many
things happen making
me feel tat im so useles
i shld'nt b here at all..
heart pain, tears roll is
me kinda lifestyle?!?!?!?!
i HATE tis kind of lifestyle
i wanna b happy.. bt y i cant?
i feel lyk there still a long
way b4 i really reach my real
happiness... I WANT TO B HAPPY

i hate where i cum frm...
all of u r bitch.. i will
rmb the slap u juz giving
me.. i will repaying back
u all stop forcing me.. I
HATE YOU!!! y am i always
so lonely n ur al stop
adding those pain into my
heart.. seriously i cant
take it anymore.. y god
must torture me lyk tis??
i dun have parent to care
4 me, it make me really
upset enough..but u still
torturing me tis way?
enough mean enough..
cant stand anymore torturing

im vr tired.. i dunno how to
hang on any more... i wanna
gif up tis life... gif up
every things.. cant stand it
anymore.. i've try my vr best
to leading my life without u..
till today i really cant do it
vr tired alrd.. all thx to u..
u really care 4 me??? if yes u
wont hurt me.. i blif in no 1..
who could i really trust in?? y
must i born to b in tis world??
day getting more tired.. feel
lyk wanna die lyk tat.. not feel
lyk going to sku... is there any
way out 4 me??? is it commit
suicide is the best way out 4 me?

if u did not appear in
my life, gif me those
sweet memmory n say u
love me.. i wont b in
tis state.. i wont be
so painful.. i wont be
crying for u everyday..
it all my fault.. if i
nv trust u n touched by
u, i wont get hurt in d
end.. y muz i always b
the 1 get hurt in d end??
wad wong did i do??? y
every1 wanna hurt me?? y
u all muz b so heartless?
mayb u all tink tat im a
gangster n a gangster tat
have no feeling... let me
tell u.. im a gangster..
but gangster oso have
felling.. gangster oso feel
pain.. n im a gangster tat
easy to get hurt.. so pls
dun hurt me..

my.....

i cant go on wit my life any more... vr tired alrd n i'll try my best to let u go n pls gif me peace.. the more u care 4 me the more i cant let u go.. u r the 1 save me out of the nightmare n throw me in another deeper nightmare. i vr tired of all those suffer tat all of u gif me... wanna hurt me fuck off of my life.. i cant stand any more suffer my life is enough of pain.. i beg all of u dun add anymore pain into it.. i gone crazy vr soon juz bcoz of all the suffer tat u has gif me.. i'll not gif any1 any more chance to hurt me.. enough of pain, tears n suffering..

dad

i rather dunno who is my daddy... it useless to have a daddy lyk u... u make me disappointed again n again.. i rather let u appear only in my dream.. then i'll think tat u r the best daddy ever.. nw then i noe how hard to forgive u.. juz coz of some1 u make me feel sad n disappointed.. but i always tell myself to forgif u no matter wad.. but it is u.. the 1 always make the same mistake.. i feel vr sad n really dunno wad excused to forgif u.. i hate u.. y must u cum n disturb my life.. u bring me to tis world for making me feel terrible?? or destroying my life?? i wont b s o naive to believe in u again.. gd luck to u n to my "step-mother"......

1st dy of sku

1st day of sku is fricking boring man.. vr slpy coz i still in a holiday mood n not feel lyk going to sec sku nw ): coz my mind cantstop thinking of tkp... which is my beloved pri sku.. i've been there for yrs.. nw go o sec sku i miss pri sku.. it is where i've the most painful time n oso there is a gd memmory n those sweet time wit my fren which i could not forget in this life.. BFF best fren forever (:

...

i wan to b same as other gal but i cant.. coz i really vr happy with myself nw but lot of ppl has been looking down on me.. i really hate tat.. ppl make me feeel tat im a really vr useless person in tis society... i not fit to b here at all.. i hate myself for being a violent gal.. i hate being alone n im NOT emo... honestly i hate schooling i ned freedoom.. i hate being forced..