writing to say sry to my mei (younger sis)

mei, jie really sry... mayb u think tat
i doesnt lup u anymore but speaking the
truth i really still lup n care for u
lyk last time... i'm sry for slaping u
too hard today. i tink u shld hate me
lots in ur ife coz i beat n scold u
every single day for all ur mistake tat
u had done or make... but u doesnt noe
tat i was oso feel hurt deep in my heart...
i really dun bear to slap u but i really
dun wan u to follow my step... u r still so
young shld'nt act lyk gangster... i dun wish
to see u regreting lyk me nw... pls dun hate
me no matter wad... wadeva i do juz for ur
owns gd..

in life there'll be no 2nd chance for u...
there is only one chance n if u mis the
chance then too bad... juz lyk a family tat
is broken, no mater how hard u try to fix
it, it will nv eva complete... no mater how
much u have change in urself, in other eyes
u still the same... juz lyk me, i didn't
fight n trying my best to be frenly, kind,
polite n respect but in other eyes i still
a gangster... foreva a gangster... i always
tell myself to give other chances but no 1
wanna give me any chance when i need it :(
so unfair

i feel vr tired nw... very very tired...
seriouly, feel lyk giving up nw, give up
everyting... i nw feel lyk juz closing my
eyes n stop thinking, close my eyes to
stop viewing things around me... every
single nite i could nt slp... miss some1
a lots, a lots... wheneva i close my eyes
i'll start to think of u tat make me cannot
slp... i love u a lots, n nv eva wanna let
u go, as long as i can b wit u, i dun even
wan to care bout wad happen around me even
if the sky is gonna falling down... i'll
feel safe wheneva u hug me tightly in ur
arms, pls hold me tight n closer to u...
pls dun let go, dun let me slip through ur
arms... dear, i really need u in my life..
tis life gonna have no meaning without u...
u make an emo, lonely little girl lyk me noe
wad is happiness, wad is tears fill wit joys
n make me feel lyk im nt lonely... really thx
lots of wad u have done for me... but its me
the 1 who didnt appreciate it, i always throw
my temper at u... baby, im sry... i'll
treasure every min, every sec i spent wit u..
love u with all my heart n soul...

it a lonely nite n the nite seem to be so long to me... i feel lyk slping but i dun seem i can... i close my eyes i saw u appear in my mind... whenever i close my eyes i started to think of u... whenever i need someone to tok to, who really willing to b there for me?!?! coz i dun seem anyone being there for me... my life now is getting more n more lonely... u seem to b further n further away frm me... i really vr scared 1 day when i woke up i realise my life is without u... whenever i close my eyes i saw u say gd bye to me making me cant close my eyes... everyday my tear keep rolling down non-stop the feeling in me tat i'm going to lose u forever... i dun wan to express all tis feeling to u coz all u noe is tell me stop imagine things... u dun really understand me... u dun really noe wad i wan... all i wan is u to hold me tightly in ur arms... as long as i stay in ur arms i always feel safe... i wan to b in ur arms every min every sec... i think u nw slping n dunno tat i suffering through the lonely nite without u, eyes filled full of tears...

wad i mean?

whenever i say:

"Please leave me alone" mean i wan u to be there for me
n hug me very tight in ur arms n nv let me go no matter wad...

"I never wan to see u again" but in my heart i missed u badly

"Stop following me" mean i wan u to follow me n stay by my side

"Stop telling everyone tat i'm ur girlfren" mean
start telling them i'm ur wife...




i cnt breathe coz u take away my breath...
i'm going to call the police to arrest u
for stealling my heart...

I LOVE YOU !!!i>

......

dear,
i miss u lots... i've been thinking of you
every minute n every second... u always in
my heart... my love to u is really from
bottom of my heart... i really cant get u
out frm my mind... u r everyting to me baby
all i wan is ur love, ur smile n ur care...
i really dun hate u at all no matter wad...
even if i angry with u jus a word " sry baby"
or when u hold me tight in ur hand n didn't
let me go, i dun seem to be angry with u
anymore... i noe u always being there for me
but i still miss u n thinking of u wherever i
go... pls promised me tat u will forever be
mine n will never ever leave me... i really
need u in my life...